30 Second Death by Laura Bradford
30
SECOND DEATH
A
Tobi Tobias Mystery #2
by
Laura Bradford
Genre: Cozy Mystery
Pub
Date: 7/11/2017
To
help an old friend, Tobi Tobias gets a third-rate thespian a part in
a commercial, and learns that in the advertising business, bad acting
can lead to murder . . .
When Tobi Tobias
opened her own advertising agency, Carter McDade was there for her
every step of the way. A brilliant hairdresser, Carter has just
landed his dream project: doing hair and makeup for a theatrical
production of Rapunzel. But the dream turns into a nightmare when he
runs into Fiona Renoir, a cruel, talentless starlet who won’t let
Carter touch a hair on her head.
To get Fiona out of
Carter’s hair, Tobi hires the difficult actress for a bit part in
her latest commercial. But true to character, Fiona is a terror on
set, and Tobi is starting to think she’s made the biggest mistake
of her life. But things get even worse when Fiona drops dead in the
hairdresser’s chair, and the only suspect is the man left holding
the tainted hair dye, Carter McDade. And unless Tobi can prove his
innocence, he’ll never do hair in this town again.
Hell had officially frozen over. And,
oddly enough, there was no
swell of background music, no
thunderous blast like I’d always
imagined.
There was simply crunching.
Loud, deliberate crunching.
In fact, it was the cruncher and the
crunchee that had turned the
fiery flames of the dreaded underworld
into the clichéd icicles referenced
at the end of virtually every nasty
breakup.
In English?
My best friend, Carter McDade, was
standing less than five feet
from my sofa eating a bowl of Cocoa
Puffs.
That’s right, Carter McDade—the same
guy who lectured me daily
on the gaps (okay, seismic gullies) in
my eating habits. The same guy
who could draw a textbook food pyramid
in mere seconds. The same
guy who’d willingly and happily choose
broccoli in a head-to-head
with a Caramello bar.
Which is why his puff-crunching pointed
to one indisputable conclusion:
Carter was stressed. Big-time.
A rarity in and of itself, Cocoa Puffs
or no Cocoa Puffs.
My upstairs neighbor was the most
positive human being I’d ever
met. One of those happy-go-lucky,
always-has-a-smile types. You
know, the kind of person everyone needs
in their life, but few are fortunate
enough to have.
I was one of the
fortunate.
I was also dumbfounded. Utterly and
completely dumbfounded
by what to say and how to say it. So I
took the not-so-subtle approach.
“What’s wrong, Carter?”
“Uh-in.”
Now I’ll admit, I have a leg up when it
comes to deciphering pufftalk
(it is, after all, my second language),
but I was feeling pretty proud
that I could decode it from even the
most novice of crunchers.
“Nothing? Nothing?! Do you realize what
you’re eating right now?”
Carter looked at the bowl in his left
hand and then the spoon moving
toward his mouth with his right.
“Uh-huh.”
“They’re Cocoa
Puffs, Carter!
Co. Coa. Puffs. As in chocolate—
or as you call it, sugar central. You
know, void of roughage. In fact, if
I do recall correctly, you refer to
them as the downfall of mankind.
The reason for society’s ills.”
I guess I thought if I really hammered
home the point, it might
sink in. Then again, I was living proof
that tactic failed. Just ask my
mother.
Besides, it was hard to hammer home
drawbacks when I didn’t
believe a word of what I was saying.
Why? Because I, Tobi Tobias,
am a chocoholic. And proud of it, I
might add.
So I did what any good chocoholic would
do. I sauntered into the
kitchen, grabbed my Bugs Bunny melamine
bowl and matching
spoon, filled it to the brim with the
last of the crunchy brown puffs
(don’t worry, I’ve got four more boxes
in the cabinet over the stove),
and headed back into the living room. I
mean, let’s face it, the expression
“If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” was
coined for a reason,
right?
Not that my commiserating helped. In
fact, when I returned, Carter
showed no signs of having noticed my
departure or subsequent return.
His facial expression was still void of
its trademark smile, and his eyes
held a vacant look. Somehow, though, I
managed to coax him onto
the sofa.
“C’mon, Carter, spill it. It’s Fiona
again, isn’t it?”
Call it a lucky (or, really my only) guess, but it was
worth a shot.
And judging by the look of complete
mortification on his face as my
words (and thus, his choice of food)
registered in his subconscious,
I’d hit the jackpot.
“Oh, good God, please tell me I’m not
eating what I think I’m eating.”
Carter squeezed his eyes shut, then
opened them slowly, cautiously.
A tortured gasp escaped his mouth,
along with a partially
chewed puff.
2 • Laura Bradford
“It’s okay, Carter, really. It’s been a
long time coming. And it’s
not a good idea to keep depriving
yourself of the finer things in life.”
I reached out and touched his shoulder,
a teasing smile tugging my
lips. “Thanks for letting me be a part
of your spiritual awakening.”
If looks could kill . . .
He rolled his eyes upward and then
frantically wiped his tongue
with the sleeve of his cable-knit
sweater. “Ugh, how on earth can you
eat that stuff?”
“Same way you just did, my friend. One
yummy spoonful at a
time.” I winked and popped some puffs
into my mouth. I knew I was
being ornery, but I couldn’t help
myself. Let’s face it, I’d endured
more pontificating about my eating
habits from this man than I could
possibly recall. So this was, in a way,
sweet justice. Payback. Comeuppance
at its finest . . .
“My mind was compromised.” Carter
released a long, slow sigh
and wiped his tongue one more time. “I
swear, Sunshine, that woman
will be the death of me yet. Mark my
words.”
I took the bowl from his shaking hand
and set it on the end table
to my right. It never ceased to amaze
me how fast the sugar rush hit
the chocolate virgins. Especially the
stressed ones.
“What’d Princess Fiona do this time?”
“In the interest of time, it might be
better if I tell you what she
didn’t do.” Carter pushed
off the couch and wandered over to the
window. Drawing back the curtain, he
peered outside. “Have you
ever noticed the way Ms. Rapple kinda
looks like Gertrude? Around
the eyes and snout—I mean, nose?”
That did it. I laughed. And snorted.
Loudly.
Damn.
“I’m serious, Tobi. The eyes droop in
almost the exact same spot,
and the nose, well, it’s a perfect
match. Right down to the persistent
wetness.”
Ewwww . . .
Thinking about my next-door neighbor,
Ms. Rapple, was enough
to make my stomach turn. The old biddy
was something of a thorn in
my side and had been since the day I
moved into my apartment at 46
McPherson Road. In fact, I’m not sure
I’d even turned the key in the
front lock before she’d descended on me
with her over-the-top questions,
mean-spirited honesty, hideously bad
breath, and her yippity-
30 Second Death • 3
yappity dog, Gertrude. Fortunately,
having Carter in the apartment
above me, and Mary Fran and Sam Wazoli
living above Ms. Rapple,
made the situation more bearable.
Still . . . was I wrong for hoping
she’d win the lottery and move
out into the countryside? Or, even
better, to another continent entirely?
Carter, I knew, felt the same way about
our elderly neighbor, though
he tried his best to smooth over her
abrasiveness with his normally
sunny disposition. When that didn’t
work, he resorted to other things.
Like ducking to the side of windows in
true surveillance mode.
“You better come away from there,
Carter. If she catches
What happens when you try to do something good for a friend?
Nothing ever goes as smoothly as planned, does it.
Tobi loves her friends and she loves her job. Usually she loves her clients and gets along well with people she has to work for. Some people are just difficult and others go even further beyond that. There is no pleasing them.
What makes this series special are the characters. From the 15 year old son of a friend who has a wise old soul to the couple opening an Adventure themed pizza restaurant which includes details of their early dating life, there are clues to more than mysteries here. Oh - and I can't fail to mention Rudder Malone. He almost makes me want to have a close parrot friend.
While the book has romantic tones, or rather a trouble in paradise relationship feel, the big emotional draw is to save Carter from going to prison for murder.
And, as the best cozy mysteries do, there are a few gotta-laugh moments.
Having spent some time myself in the advertising world, I could relate to Tobi's worries about meeting deadlines and pleasing clients. I could not imagine adding in the stress of a murder.
A well rounded book, this series has something for every one.
Nothing ever goes as smoothly as planned, does it.
Tobi loves her friends and she loves her job. Usually she loves her clients and gets along well with people she has to work for. Some people are just difficult and others go even further beyond that. There is no pleasing them.
What makes this series special are the characters. From the 15 year old son of a friend who has a wise old soul to the couple opening an Adventure themed pizza restaurant which includes details of their early dating life, there are clues to more than mysteries here. Oh - and I can't fail to mention Rudder Malone. He almost makes me want to have a close parrot friend.
While the book has romantic tones, or rather a trouble in paradise relationship feel, the big emotional draw is to save Carter from going to prison for murder.
And, as the best cozy mysteries do, there are a few gotta-laugh moments.
Having spent some time myself in the advertising world, I could relate to Tobi's worries about meeting deadlines and pleasing clients. I could not imagine adding in the stress of a murder.
A well rounded book, this series has something for every one.
Laura
Bradford is
also the author of the Emergency Dessert Squad Mysteries,
including Silence
of the Flans and Éclair
and Present Danger,
and the national bestselling Amish Mysteries, including A
Churn for the Worse and Suspendered
Sentence.
Under the pen name, Elizabeth Lynn Casey, she writes the Southern
Sewing Circle Mysteries, including Wedding
Duress and Taken
In.
She lives in Yorktown Heights, New York, with her husband and their
blended brood.
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Thank you so much for the lovely review and for posting! You're a gem! -Silver Dagger Book Tours Assistant
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